Oh hi, Fear of Falling Behind!

Some seasons bloom effortlessly — sunshine, flowers, the smell of possibility in the air. But sometimes, while the world outside feels light and full of promise, inside my head it’s a storm. Lately, I’ve been wrestling with that sinking feeling: am I falling behind?

For me, this feeling is cyclical. About two years ago, I felt it sharply, but back then it was about survival — I needed a new job to make ends meet, I needed a place to live, I needed to steady the ground beneath me. This time, life feels more comfortable. I’m in a better place than I could’ve imagined back then, and yet… sometimes I wonder if getting too used to navigating steady waters is quietly dulling my ability to weather the next storm.

We all know the script — “trust your timeline,” “comparison is the thief of joy” — but in those quiet moments, I catch myself wondering if my path has been tangled by insecurities, laziness, or past mistakes.

So here’s to my steady progress, my quiet victories that keep me going as I try to find my purpose and, hopefully, my next chapter. God knows I'm dying to find out what that will be!

🌿 I’ve been more committed to this blog this year, and to its extension, the Royal Mess Instagram account.

🌿 A huge step for me: I recently made the account public. This might seem trivial, but I panicked for months before making the decision. It’s putting myself out there in a way I hadn’t before — opening myself to criticism, yes, but hopefully also to new opportunities.

🌿 I’ve slowly but surely gotten into cooking, and I’m actually good at making the recipes I save on Instagram! I’m enjoying the feeling of getting things done, and I can’t wait to see how much progress I’ll make in the coming months.

🌿 I recently drove again after literal years. And I don't know if it was the excitement, but I felt so much of my crippling fear of being behind the wheel dissipate.

🌿 I’m committed to keeping my plants alive and learning how to take better care of my flowers.

🌿 I’m embracing my natural hair and daring to wear it undone at the office. It’s summer and I want to be basking in the sun, my pool, al fresco dinners, exercise and outdoor activities — why not?

🌿 I’m working out regularly, and now that I have a weights routine, I feel more confident and motivated to keep going.

🌿 I’ve incorporated new dietary habits and am trying to eat more consciously. While it’s not perfect (I know I probably need to review my lifestyle further), I’m proud that I’m not letting weight fluctuations dictate my choices.

🌿 I’m allowing myself to explore different interests — styling, watercolor painting, calligraphy. In the past, I let my indecisiveness hold me back, fearing I’d drop things soon after starting. This time, I’m trying many things to see what sticks. Floral arrangements are coming next!

🌿 Despite how much I might complain, I’ve continued my French classes and my Italian Duolingo sessions.

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As always, thanks for making it till here. Have you experienced this feeling? What are your tactics to stay rooted in the present?